Miraculous I’m waking up balance shaky in the badlands me and cities breaking up. Atmosphere I called it I don’t sign I think the rage enough this desert ain’t got water for the both of us so peace I’m in the river once again. Always leads me back to little circles always tying distant stars together forming constellations. Keep my concentration. For the battle is but half living after is the challenge see reflections of the future in my past. I don’t hold em let em pass. (*) Trading spells a world away because I feel your window pane thinking laps around your shadow was a conscious effort. Lesser demons trailing me I’m Faster yet I hurtle through I’m better better. I don’t pray for different weather. I respect the changes. I expect the danger. I reflect these pages. (*) should come home to find you sleeping I come home to find you seizing guess it’s just a stressful season gave me lemons I been squeezing. I come home to find you seizing should come home to find you sleeping guess it’s just a stressful season gave me lemons I been squeezing. (*) But the curse never lifted and the windows never open they been painted over I’m so over being overwhelmed by all of this and underwhelmed your dissonance and wishful thinking coffee black I hate it cigarettes replace my paintbrush paint a scene and illustrate my battle balanced tell a story of my past and leave it there until I find it in your talons, fuck a talent, fuck a bag, I been had it, been in it, from my birth 98, Fuck a palace fuck a brand, fuck a masterplan I just pray for rain and happiness and love cause I’m not sure what’s bout to happen next I hit dallas, hit atlantis, call up alice, call up lucy, show up missing, living lavish your opinion, spank horizons you can see my shadow in the distance, how I like it, I speak facts you barely listen (*) Couldn’t lose your energy to save my life, know I tried, I got marks from where the nooses tied, I ain’t tired staying up until the work is done I dry my eyes I can smell the morning coming. I can feel the heat of day upon my shoulders where I carry weight. Writing books you gon need paraphrase but don’t quote me. Meant the words I said I know didn’t. No you didn’t. Leaky faucet seeping keep it just at triple digits. Leaky faucet seeping keep it JUST at triple digits. No less no more. Keep up if you know the circuit creeping through cicada territory just north of the road and I thought of you still. I thought of you still. I stand sit dive flip and dip into golden ponds I went to when I wasn’t holding hope the closest I’m from dens released in 98 I’m spodiodi dopalicious keeping arnica and ginger root for bending without breaking i need kisses I’ll be giving out forgiveness empathetic giver sipping wisdom drip in thrifted till I can’t or till it better fits my brothers. (*) I got flowers in the summer let it simmer over low heat when it’s freezing travel lands palmed by god come home beaming crooked teeth can spit the truth and so I do fucking hate a fence I hate a better me than you so get offended one body but I’m solid dancing cuban boogaloo you can bet I’m balanced of the twenty two. Come and test me. I’m conscious silly I empty sinus and re-approach the landslide landline ringing I’m Linus holding blankets of sunlight to my body speaking silent hand signs for my city I write a sonnet strike and light it give that shit to the wind can’t thank her enough for this life in the kid but I can try. (*) I’m laughing silly tilted and sliding through salty silty alleyways hoping they can say my name right the first time like a boat I won’t say it a second time get in line or make your own that’s the mantra I’m a ray of light reflected or a manta gliding wistful through the ocean never wishful do exactly what I meant I say exactly what I meant. Let the children pick up scraps behind me digesting parts of my shadow standing knee deep in the shallows taking it in. (*) Take it home but don’t hold it don’t bind it i release with my pen like to draw with my sword like to paint with my words I regurgitate worlds all my heroes from home everything my hands built standing tall on its own make mistakes I don’t repeat em I’m a student I’m a healer I give thanks to all my teachers I break day upon these speakers I’m in leaves and heavy branches I ain’t leaving. I ain’t leaving. I’m in leaves and heavy branches I remain. I ain’t leaving.

Followed your ass through the city I’m wasting the tread on my tires and tired as fuck. Wasting my time I do that enough myself aye wake up the fire done spread to the kitchen again roses been ashes for hours guess you been absent for hours I hop in the wagon I’m coming to you. Seeing it through sun talking shit through the windows. Why I been staying inside, why I like shade, paying the rent from computers off minimum wage quit blowing sage in my face. You were a goddess and I was a dragon at best dragging my feet from the weight that I carried and stumbling drunk through the sand. Just like the fathers before me got blood on my hands. Just like the men in the forest that come from the city I bleed for the man. It’s dollars and dollars and dollars and dollars and dollars I meet the demand. I’m meeting greed in the alley again can’t stay away I been sweating and shaky and nervous I’m swerving all out of my lane. You were the gift I deserved lil lady I’m coming to you. Seeing it through aye. I got my shadow on me. Ain’t got a sliver of doubt. Silver done put me in debt. Midas I’m greed at my best I been drowning in gold to my neck. Diamonds all over me wet. Stumbling drunk through the sand I’m a cycle at best. Swallow I swallow I swallow I’m coming to you. Seeing it through aye. Wasting my time I do that enough myself. I put my heart on the shelf. Need you I’m running from self.

I I had a dream I dreamt I was dreaming Had a dream I spoke to younger me on trains that came to get me pick me up from dragon dens scales across my body still. Book in hand he didn’t see me sat beside him asked to read it ‘stead he held my hand and ask if I was scared of it. The dragon. Said I wasn’t I had come to free a monster squeezed my hand with love and looked up. Why’re you crying then? He asked me, told him baskets of emotions held my heart so he could see it reached and wiped my tears away with smaller hands. Hugged myself and looked away. Down the train to see my parents beaming. Yellow aura. Then I woke up. I put poetry over low heat let it simmer I got words from lovely lonely lowly winter underneath my cuticles it’s time for digging. Ever since eleven it’s been fuck a cubicle I’m making art and buying acres of land I’m raising plants with my hands I’m balanced out I’m balanced now I’m balanced out I’m by the river doing dances by the river looking handsome so she told me I get bashful don’t get twisted though I’m bashing teeth out mouths of my demons I follow halos up the mountainside pineal gland tingling singing songs I penned in heat that made it freezing I’m cold. I’m from the south I’m from the north I’m from the East I’m from the West I did my best to explain and connect before I vanished but it’s all love. Yeah, it’s all love. I don’t need respect I know just what I do. I don’t need a check I know just how I move. I don’t need a bed for resting just a couch and roof will do. I know myself and lack of self has taught me lots. It’s all love. I forgive and give more I cry rivers for those people gone missing you kissed your mother today? You kissed your lover today? I’m an empath on a path that feels chosen learn from it and throw them lessons away. It’s all love. Yeah yeah. It’s all love. Had a dream I spoke to older me on trains from Sweden came and sat beside me as I read my favorite stories. Saw his stains and heavy shoulders held his hand discussed the dragon asked him questions knew he came from heavy battles pain and struggle. Shrugged it off and held me told me monsters come from fear and loathing I should focus on my home and love and beauty showed me baskets of emotions held his heart so I could see it wiped his tears away he told me bout the ocean. Then I woke up. Said you getting rid of the 404 bring the sample back the world in three backpacks kneecap treetop travelin’. It’s high noon facing shadows over acres fighting battles over pavement notebook headphone wielding. Welding rhymescemes the light shining the ash settled the snow falling the fish singing songs of my father he kept the blues on em. I know I’m new to this aura this area of self I keep some hues on me. Few and far between but clinging tight to love behold it I ain’t held it since the last time it don’t feel just like the last time I’m a river I’m a prism I’m a landslide of emotions cracking pines into the valley. Cracking eggs these foxes with me speaking facts you barely listen but it’s more for solo self so I ain’t tripping always older anyway never younger anyway imma finish what I started do it softly do it graceful you can watch me. Watch me dance. Dawn to dust ain’t nothing greater. Crates of vinyl strewn across the mountaintop across these miles of creation. Whispering Godspeed into mics for friends in tune to transmissions finding purpose in the moss between toes in the spring. In your eyes and single rings before you pick up. I found guidance in my own narcissistic self reflection in the water Gaia laughing at her image in my cornea corners was dark enough but trodden often the beaten path avoiding officers and all the snakes I give a shrug and wipe em off me baby I was caught with red hands prodding droplets of golden liquid from bottoms of bottles when my wisdom teeth was rotten I was running with the best of the worst and I was sleeping with the worst of the best still got rest though. Back at nineteen I needed rescue and probably still do but I’m working my hands callused calling sweat to my temple in the garden calling rain and heavy residue dancing I been laughing it off. It’s just another day on principle another chance to be great I call my momma hold her tight I call anxiety and trauma to the table and I throw em away I need the pace to be changing I need a place that ain’t dangerous bleed until my sleeve drips and leave it straight on the pages. I’m working better than ever for no wages letting light shine through me in all directions I’m a prism I’m a prism I’m a prism. Look what that solace can build Spring making icicles melt back on my bicycle route through bull cities headphone wielding know I get loud as I should I know my balance is good back to making light shine through me as I should be. I was seven for too long and I’m acting my age as I should be. As I should be.

Purple Purple my Purple my aura I’m painted I play on the dark sides of tide shifting bodies Something bout ghosts and the shadows at home need to sell it Confused cursing crazy in cells when he wake up guards ain’t got nothing to tell him Sleep on that. Disgust in the morning the dusk rolling into screen porches Smoking again. Drink from a chalice. Weigh out the balance falling like seasons or palaces draped in this champion laying my head in the clouds tonight. Set down set down tonight. Heard a few poets were meeting discussing the teachings a city away. Travel in darkness by light from the moon never led him astray. Astral astral big ass ashes might be snowing a longer winter my ancestors leave me be or find me barely breathing by the river. Bring me tattered wings and empty quivers. Mid-September temper breaking fever peaking energy boring holes in my palms I beg for release get silence shit though grown since then, left my home since then, convinced they know the kid, narrate these paintings of me amidst rising waters to the highest bidder can’t step back see the picture. Fucking miss me while I’m here. Fuck and Kiss me while I’m here. When I’m gone I’m gone don’t say my name don’t sing my songs don’t sell my beats don’t hack my phone just let me sleep. Let me rest I need it. Let my speeches be. Released into the ether.

I just spent a weekend finding samples I was in the city fighting battles with my demons in the middle of the field knelt with carcasses and conscious thought of mothers left in muddy water rising no emotions kept since. Burn em throw em to the wind I know I’m paying for the sins of many men and playing weakness more than strength pray the angels know my name and snakes get stuck on first letters like my writing nah I know it ain’t a game I pull over to breathe and lose mileage but it’s never been a chase and it’s never been the same born and molded by it playing notes across piano keys ninety eight say it with me say it back say it back bring it in say it louder across many tops of mountains so I hear it say my name. I don’t know it I don’t know it teach it to me. Say my name. Teach it to me. I don't know it say my name. We now bring you this brief announcement. There is a mountain that she sits atop, hands outstretched, stories on her breath. There is blood in the water and screams in the soil. Kept secrets spoil and the truth comes like fire across the land. Wind kissing her, she soars above the smoke and lights down into the ashes. There is a mountain that sits beneath her, peak and shimmering hollows outstretched, stories in the trees. Ancient time lies in wait for the violent passage of modern man. I just want plants until I go. I want to behold and be held. I want to swallow pain and gain willpower. I want to sweat and cry and replenish my body by the spring. I want to understand this empathy. I want to fuel my aura with love and lack of ego. Eat myself truly. Speak my name daily. Quiet. Forget him when I dream and find the creases in his face oddly familiar the next day in the mirror. Find my heart and throat in the reflection of anything at the waters edge. In the refraction of light at dawn and dusk. I just want roots until I go. Ever-reaching they are muddy and full of fungus but they are mine. I want the mushrooms and moss to grow with me, instead of this scorched earth I find myself seeded into so deeply when I run home and run away and run home again. To cook and share meals is breath in smoke choked houses. To rejoice in boats carved from stone pillars when they do not sink. Pressing gently into the waters surface and bobbing, ebbing somewhere far different than the bottom of the canyon. The tiger dying of thirst by the mast. Spotting seagulls through blistered and sun ravaged eyelids and knowing she has brought you home again. Spilling out onto the beach with the tiger strewn across shoulders to drink the nectar of coconuts and breathe deep until exhale. Tours of the garden speaking of Narcissus and theology. Of the time in womb before birth and the dialysis machine that cradles you now. Seagulls circle parking lots. Anxiety finds sweat and pulls it to lips. Spring has taken the silence of winter to replace it with bloom and all colors. Hours in the garden sat still knowing that life has led you to this point here. To this moment on the map. This fishbowl looking in to eye contact with something as foreign as solace. But you and I have come full circle my friend. A lifetime lived floating amongst ether only to realize home has been the beginning and the end all along. It was necessary though. Love lost, tears worn on cheeks in the face of it all smiling and vulnerable. Laughing almost. Self found and cast to the wind. Shadow seen when light is absent. Love miraculously found again and held sacred. I fear not death. Or life. I learned my lesson and pressured em Make an impression on em Stop tryna impress me. Half poison you need it nah, you not unique muddy feet keep slipping through eden this ain’t my garden nah this ain’t my garden. Should be more dogwood flowers and spring should be here what is this cold winter I behold this shit ain’t beautiful. Getting older no time to be timid so I jump in. Head first, wondering if the other half is antidote my toes follow. I was never one to hesitate or swallow guilt, we are not the same I don’t keep the shame, I don’t know my name but I am seeking it. I don’t know my name but they been speaking it. Pennies in my eyes cruising skies above Atlanta Carolina every summer, set down easy, do my breathing, I put speeches over rhythm, heal my self in technicolor shadows sinking reaching through em for the paddle. Feel my body in the basin stones and algae in my hair I send it back. I break branches crashing through it and I’m sorry but I meant it.

Hieroglyphics under paint peeling off the wall low as gold feeling solo flow. Old like I always been 10 doves in the morning calling cold to skin so then what? how you say your name? How you grow like trees in the wind so fold the leaves telling tales of a perfect world that was never the truth. Trust I topple kingdoms. Shrug mountains I step between em. Oh well, still sleeping peaceful. Nightmare dreams don’t bother me hundreds bills don’t bother me. Cities burn I’m heating pizza kick back match on gas with demons me and my Athena twitch through sleep just dreaming away fly back just to see you right beside my heart I keep you. In the yard looking through flooded iris to a land I once knew smoking half a cigarette and turning back inside to the same old shit. Mundane mondays and half the rent. Must’ve lost the scent somewhere on this trail on this tributary on this path with sinking mud and raging spirits. The wind was enough to turn any sane man away I knew that. But I covered my ears and stepped forward, hunched back and aching joints I stumbled across what would become the beginning of the end. Down. To the confluence. Eye woke up with the deafening sound of silence ringing somewhere deep in my spine Eye spent some time while the coffee was on looking for the source, and called my soul to come in and have a look Nothing Eye put on the dead man’s clothes and went out to the fields The pines were singing a song Eye had heard in Hell on Sunday the week before The fish swam backwards through time Eye envied them The taste of mourning lingered sickly like mustard and hot water in the back of my throat Swallow The woman of the forest came to where Eye lay and collected heavy stones from my belly which she placed into a pouch by her heart She traded me little things from her forest for these black and painful memories Beautiful things Mushrooms, flowers, herbs, feathers, and teeth from the balance She carefully weighed and maintained Eye asked if Eye could join the balance Laughing, Sobbing, and Emotionless She turned into a golden fox and disappeared into the brush The pines bled Syrup melted around me like hot wax and everything became colorless Eye let the soil take me Down Flowing and yet motionless amongst the ether Down To the place where all rivers find themselves At the end of the beginning Down The Confluence The place where boys dream of becoming roaring fires The place where men go to extinguish weary embers At what cost have you burned? At what cost do you burn?